пожалуйста помоги/please help

[Woodpecker]

You’re trying so damn hard to be right. I find it hilarious. No American would write $2800. What stupid shit is that? Look at the apartment floor plan I posted. Tell me how it’s there?

[Woodpecker]

Thanx for telling stories 'bout current crap in US. No milk&honey anymore, got it.
I ain' t 'appy 'bout this, though been born in ussr and brought up on ideas of "winnin' over Amerika and imperialism". Bad approach. Everyone should win, and "love's the only engine of survival", as Cohen sung.

Israel. Good advice. My escort girlfriend tried (w/some of my assistance) and been happy w/results. Damned pandemia, no chance for Russians. With US passport should be easier, I consider.
We took just 1,5k$ for the start + 2-way tickets. Result 'd been ab. 1k$ daily brutto (minus rent 120$, food and disposals). And this is quite poor result.

Good luck!

Well, I was a little overdramatic but it’s still shit. I’m glad I don’t live in a blue state. Gas is still out of control everywhere as well as food costs. I’m sure Jane Bond will talk about her American husband and how I’m wrong somehow.

Regardless thanks for the advice.

[Rusalochka]

Woodpecker, don't worry - they're just jealous of your passport.

Серёг,что ты делаешь?Ахаха,прекращай)))

[Sergey77]

https://bash.im/quote/468102

Диалог туриста, изучавшего английский по Бонк, и официанта:
— One bloody rostbeaf, please!
— Sure! With fucking potatoes, sir?

[Woodpecker]

Just to recap, we’ve gone from “limited vocabulary”—> ignored pictures of a passport —> “every American learns Spanish”—> “there is no way Google would translate that”—>ignored screenshots of Google translate translating that—> “there is no way a single bedroom apartment would cost that much”—> ignored screenshot of a single bedroom apartment costing that much —> “you wrote $2800 wrong”

There is this thing called Occam’s Razor. Jane Bond is thinking zebras when she hears hoof beats instead of horses.

I literally can’t breathe I’m laughing so hard. I’m like George Floyd over here.

[Sergey77]

I literally can’t breathe I’m laughing so hard.

This forum is much better than the site with jokes.

[Mashenka007]

Just to recap, we’ve gone from “limited vocabulary”—> ignored pictures of a passport —> “every American learns Spanish”—> “there is no way Google would translate that”—>ignored screenshots of Google translate translating that—> “there is no way a single bedroom apartment would cost that much”—> ignored screenshot of a single bedroom apartment costing that much —> “you wrote $2800 wrong”

There is this thing called Occam’s Razor. Jane Bond is thinking zebras when she hears hoof beats instead of horses.

I literally can’t breathe I’m laughing so hard. I’m like George Floyd over here.

I have the same passport but I’m not pretending that I don’t speak Russian, or I’m a native speaker . 99 percent of my friend Native Russian or Ukrainian or whatever people from the post sovet union coutlntries have the same passports, it’s not such a big great unique thing here.
But youve never answered my last question about ВещиЦА. Could you please answer this as well.

[Mashenka007]

https://bash.im/quote/468102

Диалог туриста, изучавшего английский по Бонк, и официанта:
— One bloody rostbeaf, please!
— Sure! With fucking potatoes, sir?

Сергей сколько же вам лет если вы знаете такие великие книги как бонк. На бонкк учили при царе горохе, учителей моих учителей учили по бонку. Шутка неактуальная а почему никому непонятная.

[Woodpecker]

Just to recap, we’ve gone from “limited vocabulary”—> ignored pictures of a passport —> “every American learns Spanish”—> “there is no way Google would translate that”—>ignored screenshots of Google translate translating that—> “there is no way a single bedroom apartment would cost that much”—> ignored screenshot of a single bedroom apartment costing that much —> “you wrote $2800 wrong”

There is this thing called Occam’s Razor. Jane Bond is thinking zebras when she hears hoof beats instead of horses.

I literally can’t breathe I’m laughing so hard. I’m like George Floyd over here.

I have the same passport but I’m not pretending that I don’t speak Russian, or I’m a native speaker . 99 percent of my friend Native Russian or Ukrainian or whatever people from the post sovet union coutlntries have the same passports, it’s not such a big great unique thing here.
But youve never answered my last question about ВещиЦА. Could you please answer this as well.

It’s a Bulgarian word for “things” ??? I don’t know what you’re going on about honestly.

By the way you keep saying ‘Native American’ that’s an Indian (feathers not dots) I ain’t no Indian. I’m white as can be.

So is your husband a BLM guy or a Rittenhouse guy? I’m a Rittenhouse gal myself.

[Mashenka007]

Just to recap, we’ve gone from “limited vocabulary”—> ignored pictures of a passport —> “every American learns Spanish”—> “there is no way Google would translate that”—>ignored screenshots of Google translate translating that—> “there is no way a single bedroom apartment would cost that much”—> ignored screenshot of a single bedroom apartment costing that much —> “you wrote $2800 wrong”

There is this thing called Occam’s Razor. Jane Bond is thinking zebras when she hears hoof beats instead of horses.

I literally can’t breathe I’m laughing so hard. I’m like George Floyd over here.

I have the same passport but I’m not pretending that I don’t speak Russian, or I’m a native speaker . 99 percent of my friend Native Russian or Ukrainian or whatever people from the post sovet union coutlntries have the same passports, it’s not such a big great unique thing here.
But youve never answered my last question about ВещиЦА. Could you please answer this as well.

It’s a Bulgarian word for “things” ??? I don’t know what you’re going on about honestly.

By the way you keep saying ‘Native American’ that’s an Indian (feathers not dots) I ain’t no Indian. I’m white as can be.

So is your husband a BLM guy or a Rittenhouse guy? I’m a Rittenhouse gal myself.

We are divorced ex husband .

[Woodpecker]

I have the same passport but I’m not pretending that I don’t speak Russian, or I’m a native speaker . 99 percent of my friend Native Russian or Ukrainian or whatever people from the post sovet union coutlntries have the same passports, it’s not such a big great unique thing here.
But youve never answered my last question about ВещиЦА. Could you please answer this as well.

It’s a Bulgarian word for “things” ??? I don’t know what you’re going on about honestly.

By the way you keep saying ‘Native American’ that’s an Indian (feathers not dots) I ain’t no Indian. I’m white as can be.

So is your husband a BLM guy or a Rittenhouse guy? I’m a Rittenhouse gal myself.

We are divorced ex husband .

Ok, sorry(?) so what’s the deal with the Bulgarian word question? I don’t get it.

[ЖЫрныйА]

Ok, sorry(?) so what’s the deal with the Bulgarian word question? I don’t get it.

She (and #meeto))) are curious how did you manage to get this Bulgarian word translating from English (which u pretend to be native) to Russian (which u
pretend not to know at all).

I tried Google translation. "Вещица" it translates into English as "Thing", and "Thing" back to Russian as "Вещь". And no any other versions. Which makes meeee suspiciooooooous))))

I know one guy from Germany, his father worked for Stasi, so his Russian was really close to be perfect. But not for such things.
Plenty of CIA and FBI people here, yes)) as well as Mi-6, Mossad, FSB and MVD so be careful

[Woodpecker]

Ok, sorry(?) so what’s the deal with the Bulgarian word question? I don’t get it.

She (and #meeto))) are curious how did you manage to get this Bulgarian word translating from English (which u pretend to be native) to Russian (which u
pretend not to know at all).

I tried Google translation. "Вещица" it translates into English as "Thing", and "Thing" back to Russian as "Вещь". And no any other versions. Which makes meeee suspiciooooooous))))

I know one guy from Germany, his father worked for Stasi, so his Russian was really close to be perfect. But not for such things.
Plenty of CIA and FBI people here, yes)) as well as Mi-6, Mossad, FSB and MVD so be careful

You mean this?

[Sergey77]

Das ist fantastisch!

[Woodpecker]

Das ist fantastisch!

I honestly wish I knew what was happening

[ЖЫрныйА]

Ok, sorry(?) so what’s the deal with the Bulgarian word question? I don’t get it.

She (and #meeto))) are curious how did you manage to get this Bulgarian word translating from English (which u pretend to be native) to Russian (which u
pretend not to know at all).

I tried Google translation. "Вещица" it translates into English as "Thing", and "Thing" back to Russian as "Вещь". And no any other versions. Which makes meeee suspiciooooooous))))

I know one guy from Germany, his father worked for Stasi, so his Russian was really close to be perfect. But not for such things.
Plenty of CIA and FBI people here, yes)) as well as Mi-6, Mossad, FSB and MVD so be careful

You mean this?

We definitely have different versions of Google. But OK, "штучка" - also not bad. OK, I'm convinced.
Anyway, I don't care

_20211215_213648.JPG

[ЖЫрныйА]

Das ist fantastisch!

Ja, unglaublich!

[ЖЫрныйА]

Das ist fantastisch!

I honestly wish I knew what was happening

Nothing special. Russian segment of Internet.
- If you want an answer for you question - go to an American forum
- If you want a question for your question - go to an Izraelian forum
- If you want an insult for your question - go to a Russian forum.

Ain't cha got 'nything like this forum in US?

[Sergey77]

Das ist fantastisch!

I honestly wish I knew what was happening

this is such a peculiar joke

[Vasaby]

Д’Артаньян почувствовал что тупеет (c)